DEATH CARE

“I am exasperated that people believe death is the great equalizer. Yes, we all die, but we die of different causes at different rates in different ways.

There is nothing equal about death, except that we all do it.

Death and dying are culturally constructed processes that reflect social power dynamics - they are unequal. How we die is wrapped up largely in the intersections of our identities.”

-Alua Arthur

I am here to walk alongside you, your family, and your loved ones as you move into the final chapters of life, whether it is a long process or an unexpected one.

My death care approach is rooted in trying to alleviate the fear and unnecessary stress of dying so that your final days are spent at peace with the ones who bring you comfort.

I am here to assist with the administrative work, advocate for your needs, clean up the messes, sort through the belongings, get deep into the paperwork, and sit vigil at the bedside with tea at hand. You are not alone in the face of death, and I am honored to have your trust.

-Leah

SERVICES

For the Dying

  • I am available to sit with you, bring you tea or other comforts you have on-hand, and be a calming, peaceful presence so that you are not alone. We can listen to music, read books or poetry, share stories, or sit and rest. I am here for when there are gaps in availability from your immediate support network.

  • Death brings forced interactions with institutions, doctors, and even estranged relatives. I am here to listen to your needs and goals, and act as an advocate on your behalf and facilitate tough conversations where your needs should be honored. I am particularly dedicated to advocating for disabled, trans, and queer people who are dying to have their needs and wishes honored.

  • I am here as a pillar of support in difficult conversations that may need to be had with loved ones as you prepare to die. I am also available to make administrative calls to people in your life so your loved ones are freed up to spend time with you.

  • If you have a vision for how, where, and when you’d like your loved ones to honor you when you’re gone, I am here to coordinate, calculate, and make sure your plans come into fruition. I am particularly dedicated to advocating for disabled, trans, and queer people who are dying to be honored in the ways they deserve to be.

  • I am available to discuss and help coordinate the many options you have for how you’d like your body to be taken care of after death. This includes any rituals you’d like following your departure, and what you want your final resting place or form to be. Traditional burial or fire cremation are not your only options.

  • Rituals and altars are sacred ways of opening and closing out important moments in your life. I am here to discuss and tailor rituals and altars that integrate your personal beliefs and practices with intentional ways to honor your life and beliefs. The rituals and altars you design can be brought into existence while you are alive and after your death.

  • I am available to do light cleaning to keep your home neat, do laundry, and cook simple meals so that your loved ones can be available to spend time with you. I request that you provide the cooking ingredients/materials and cleaning products that I should use.

  • Everything from sorting through belongings, ensuring your loved ones have access to personal online accounts, ensuring all your personal information is organized for when it’s needed.

  • I am happy to support you in completion of advanced care directives, such as filling out the popular Five Wishes Advanced Care Directive, or connecting you with affordable legal assistance so that your wishes are honored. Note that I am not an attorney, cannot provide legal advice, and cannot complete legal forms on your behalf.

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For Those Supporting the Dying

  • I am here to ensure that your loved one’s support network avoids burn out, works together, and can provide cohesive care. 

  • I am here as a pillar of support in difficult conversations that may need to be had with loved ones. I am also available to make administrative calls to people in your life so you are freed up to spend time with your dying loved one.

  • I know that many times our loved ones may not be related by blood, but are family in every other way. I am here to support and advocate for you in being present for your loved’s death, post-death, and celebration of life process. I am especially willing to advocate around disability access needs, trans and queer chosen family needs, and advocating for respect around identity.

  • I am here to assist with legacy projects, celebratory days of remembrance (such as death anniversaries, birthdays), story telling, and anything that will help in celebration and release of the feelings around loss.

  • Rituals and altars are sacred ways of cherishing important people, and opening and closing out important moments in your life. I am here to discuss and tailor rituals and altars that integrate your personal beliefs and practices with intentional ways to honor your life and beliefs.

  • I can handle the logistics of making the care schedules, arranging the meal train, and making sure that your key support networks (friends, extended family, religious community, etc.) are kept in the loop so that they can lend a helping hand as you focus on taking care of yourself and your loved one.

  • I am available to do light cleaning to keep your loved one’s home neat, do laundry, and cook simple meals so that you can be available to spend time with your dying loved one. I request that you provide the cooking ingredients/materials and cleaning products that I should use.

  • Everything from sorting through belongings, ensuring you have access to your loved ones personal online accounts, closing accounts, handling mail, sorting through possessions

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